Indira Creampie Party

Well, I think you didn’t review the video description either, where I explain that this is one of my early works and even apologize for the quality. See? In the end, we all sometimes rush to judgment a little too quickly.

That said, I do appreciate the criticism. Some of the things you mentioned, like text pacing and readability, are fair points, and they’re exactly the kind of things I’ve been improving over time.

But let me make a small critique too: you use quite a lot of words to get across a single idea. Very typical of people who turn a paragraph into a monologue to sound profound when, in reality, they didn’t have all that much to say.

And by the way, I don’t really care where you’re from (I’m not even American myself), but that cynicism toward the American education system sounds more like an exaggeration than a fact. Reality is usually far more nuanced than that.

I have nothing but high praise of your general animation skills and character design. You take great care in their movements and their appearance. One other thing...

Your storytelling and writing skills leave quite a bit to be desired. I don't find myself distracted by any idiotic misspellings, so there's that. But it's clear you couldn't have reviewed the final edit of the video before uploading it. If you had, you would have noticed the pacing of your text windows was entirely too fast. Some of the text windows even overlapped each other in time, meaning the characters were talking over each other. That happens in real life of course, but it's hard to read both boxes; especially if you don't give us any time. And why would you have made the text boxes transparent? It only makes it that much harder to read when they're backlit by a dark dance club.

I'm just saying, if you took the time to write a story, I would think you'd want people to read it. So don't make it difficult to do so. Considering how most people under 30(in the US) are basically illiterate, getting them to read anything is already difficult. Don't make the text hard to see, and don't write dialog that no one would ever say. I realize that no Man in the world will ever know what women talk about in the bathroom of an underground sex club, but I'm sure they never ask each other whether they used protection. But if so, I doubt they'd try to appear like a responsible whore and lie. Safe sex doesn't seem like a primary concern for fictional whores with no moral compasses.

BTW, when did you expect us to be able to watch the animation you spent so much time creating when we're busy with the task of guessing where the next text window will pop up, and then reading it more quickly than our brains can process? Either the story is primary and worth reading and not crap, or it's secondary. If Primary, make it readable without making us miss the show. If Secondary, don't put text over the animations.