The New Life of Talia - Ep 8-2

This shit sucks ass

Okay. It's time to start developing some kind of story. Or at least inject a sense of "escalation" for each of the girls. It's fun to watch them fucking horses, but what do they do the rest of the day? Your animation is good, but I have a few questions about your writing...if you don't mind.

When you're editing your video, do you listen to the voiceover at least once? After you've written the dialog and the girl's voice speaks the words you've written, doesn't it bother you to hear all your misspelled words and grammatical mistakes being spoken by the girl's voice?

Why don't you proofread your scripts? At least attempt to get the words spelled correctly. Put some effort into improving your writing before you're too old. The only thing you need to do is pick up a book and read it. Read a LOT. Reading will make you a better writer. And a better Reader.

Seriously, does it bother you to hear her speaking the words you wrote? She doesn't make any sense. It's puzzling that you've chosen to have a narrator for your horsefucking series. What are you thinking? Don't answer that.

For Crying Out LOUD! Just use Spellcheck, and Grammarly. This is a major problem with people of a certain age - your generation can barely read and write. If I couldn't read or write, I'd probably not be writing dialog in animated porn as a hobby. It's not the best way to learn.

I'd hope this is a porn game and not an insanely lazy artist that refuses to animate properly.